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Fluids don't work in a suck, but they work really well in a push.
Daniel T. Brinker, Automation
Penn State, State College, PA

Comments? Add or View (58) submitted: May 18, 2004

Discussing pneumatic versus hydraulic cylinders.
Rating: unrated

Give me a clue because I might be relatively clueless about some things.
Brant Pope, Foundations of Modern Drama
Penn State, State College, PA

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 18, 2004

In reference to us choosing topics, yet indoubtedly apt.
Rating: 7

"This is the coolest thing I'll say in the next 15 seconds!"
Prof Gu, Multivariable Calculus II
Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA

Comments? Add or View (1) submitted: May 18, 2004

Indeed it was.
Rating: unrated

And when sperm and egg get together, through a mechanism that I am wholly unqualified to discuss, then you get 2n again.
Hogan, Genetics
UNC-Chapel Hill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 17, 2004

Co-taught by Dr. Hogan and his wife, Dr. Hogan.
Rating: 9

...and for those of you who are underage, do not go out drinking when you get your scores back.
Dr. Tom Co, Process Controls
Michigan Technological University, Houghton, Mi

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 15, 2004

Dr. Co Telling warning some of the grades from our first test
Rating: 8

"If you stay in teaching long enough, you're going to get sued. And you're going to get threatened a lot."
Dr. John Wheeler, Educational Psychology
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, Missouri

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 14, 2004

That's comforting.
Rating: unrated

Prof. Vazirani: Everyone knows about the P and NP complexity classes?
Class: No response
Prof. Vazirani: Anyone in here who doesn't know about P and NP complexity classes?
*A few students tentatively raise their hands*
Prof. Vazirani: Then what are you doing in here? It's a fine sunny day outside. Why don't you go and play in the park?
Vijay Vazirani, Design and Analysis of Algorithms
Georgia Tech, Atlanta, GA

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 14, 2004

This is an course for Theory PhD students that requires a sound theory background.
Rating: 9.33333

Who's suffering more? Are you suffering more than I am? Probably.
Dr. Richard Jennings, NatSci IB History and Philsophy of Science
Cambridge University, Cambridge, England

Comments? Add or View (1) submitted: May 10, 2004

It was an ethics lecture, and he was talking about the problem of quantifying suffering.
Rating: 8

If your table partner falls asleep, do them a favor and stab them in the hand. Studies show that 98% of people who are stabbed in the hand do not fall asleep again in the same class period.
Dr. John Kolena, Physics with Advanced Topics
The North Carolina School of Science and Math, Durham, North Carolina

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 7, 2004

Dr. Kolena did an example problem for the class involving my table partner stabbing my hand. Wasn't my fault - had a lot of HW the night before!
Rating: 10

"I can't figure out kids and diaphragms. They're kind of opposite, really. If you have one, you're not supposed to have the other."
Stephen Burt, 20th C. Poetry
Macalester, St. Paul, MN

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 6, 2004

on Larkin's "High Windows"
Rating: 6.5

I could invent a new category, "bliggles," which meant "everything on this lectern." [Picking up his pen off the lectern] So, this is a bliggle.
Dr. Peter Lipton, Philosophy of Science IB
Cambridge University, Cambridge, England

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 5, 2004

The joys of positional predicates, or, how to invent new words halfway through a lecture...
Rating: 8

[Having just arrived at the relation he was trying to derive] ...and so we get exactly what we wanted. Happiness!
Dr. Malcolm Longair, Part IA Physics
Cambridge University, Cambridge, England

Comments? Add or View (2) submitted: May 5, 2004

Imagine this coming from a short, balding, aged Scottish man leaping up and down in front of the blackboards, beaming with pride at having derived the Planck distribution.
Rating: 7

d) EDTA = DEATh
Dr. David Chesney, CH2212 Quantatitive Analysis
Michigan Technological University, Houghton, MI

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 5, 2004

Somehow, I found this to be a disturbing answer on our final exam. I wonder if he meant that this final will be the "DEATh" of us all?
Rating: 1

Rogers who? Rogers, the one with the potatoes.
Dr. Rachel Blas, Personality
Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel

Comments? Add or View (3) submitted: May 5, 2004

see http://www.profquotes.com/view_comments.php?quote_id=929 ...
Rating: 10

If you want to go right, a little magic elf will come by and give you more tape.
Edith Hemaspaandra, Foundations of Computer Theory
Rochester Institute of Technology, Rochester, NY

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 5, 2004

When talking about how Turing machines are only one-way infinite
Rating: unrated

The periodic table is full of a bunch of elements we never use in chemistry. I don't even know the names of them like The symbol Tm or Yb. I guess it's better than being element 67.
Dr. Jimmy Rogers,
UTA, Arlington, Texas

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 5, 2004
Rating: unrated

Because you won't finish it, I guaren-darn-tee you.
Dave Koenecke, Anatomy/Physiology III
Arizona School of Massage Therapy, Tempe, AZ

Comments? Add or View (1) submitted: May 4, 2004

About an assignment for the day.
Rating: unrated

By 'technicians,' we mean 'graduate students.'
Dr. Ichiro Takeuchi, Modern Physics
University of Maryland, College Park, MD

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 4, 2004
Rating: unrated

To appreciate quantum mechanics, look at the failure of classical mechanics.
Dr. Ichiro Takeuchi, Modern Physics
University of Maryland, College Park, MD

Comments? Add or View (3) submitted: May 4, 2004

on how classical physics couldn't explain the photoelectric effect.
Rating: 10

James Clerk Maxwell-- he was one smart S. O. B. But it turns out he was wrong.
Dr. Ichiro Takeuchi, Modern Physics
University of Maryland, College Park, MD

Comments? Add or View (2) submitted: May 4, 2004
Rating: 9

This is the absolute truth, which is not defeated by any expiriments so far.
Dr. T. Shiokawa, guest lecturer, Modern Physics/Quantum for Dummies
University of Maryland, College Park, MD

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 4, 2004
Rating: 9

Long ago, there were machines actually based on a hexadecimal number system.
Dr. J. Cooper, Numerical Analysis
University of Maryland, College Park, MD

Comments? Add or View (4) submitted: May 4, 2004

He's old enough to remember it, too!
Rating: unrated

"The Thermal Wind blows..."
Dave Flory, Synoptic Meteorology 311
Iowa State University, Ames, IA

Comments? Add or View (1) submitted: May 4, 2004

He trailed off after writing those 4 words on the board, stared at it contemplatively, and then continued in writing the rest of the sentence. (It ended up having actual meaning.)
Rating: unrated

"If you go to Miami for spring break you don't have to do homework, you don't have to take tests. There is no pressure gradient force on you."
Dr. Chen, Atmospheric Dynamics, Meteorology 443
Iowa State University, Ames,

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: May 4, 2004

Trying to explain how the pressure gradient force works.
Rating: unrated

The trouble with you, Winston, is that you *believe* your own BS.
Joseph Duffy, Honors Freshman English
Manchester West High, Manchester, NH

Comments? Add or View (1) submitted: May 4, 2004

Interrupting Winston trying to justify a completely wrong answer.
Rating: 10

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