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Jump to page:
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"No, stop stop! That whole line sounds terrible! It's as if your FORCEFULLY introducing a cat to the inside of a microwave and turning it on! Once more now, just no animal abuse this time!"
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Mr. Foster, Symphonic Band
Copley High School, Copley, Ohio
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 2, 2009 |
Comment from our director on the sound of our band after we played a line rather poorly in a new song. Needless to say, we all paused and then burst out laughing including him.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Inna recession, ev'rybody drink. I hear story on da 60 minutes. Family drop kid off at friend's house. Later, da mom go pick up da kid. Mom drunk! Friend's parents no let mom take kid home. Call dad. Dad comes pick up kid--but dad drunk too! Who next? Grandparents? Call up grandparents, dey come. Dey drunk too! Ev'rybody drunk! Who dey call next, cops? Maybe dey drunk too!
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Wei Ge, International Economics
Bucknell University, Lewisburg, Pennsylvania
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 3, 2009 |
Economics is amazing.
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| Rating: 10 |
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...at least I don't have to stand over a mirror to see my BALLS
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Capuzzo,
NVOT, Old Tappan, NJ
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 3, 2009 |
Track coach/math teacher making fun of an overweight athlete at practice
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| Rating: 10 |
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"I'm giving you the chance to have sex with a beautiful woman, and you're choosing masturbation."
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Seymour Leichman, Illustration II
Pratt Institute, Brooklyn, New York
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 3, 2009 |
My 85 year old Illustration professor three semesters ago on a drawing of mine.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Student: The sluts always die first in horror movies.
Teacher: And let that be a lesson to you all!
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Dr. Funk, IB Biology
Douglas County High School, ,
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submitted: July 3, 2009 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Student before final exam: "Dr. Hodges, what would you recommend I study for the final?"
Doc Hodges: "I'd recommend you go out and get drunk instead."
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Dr. Lou Hodges,
Texas A&M University, College Station, Texas
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 4, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Racism is a very touchy topic these days. Especially in rap songs, like the ones Kanye West sings...hahahahahahaha! It's tough out there!
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Dr. Richard Watson, Ethical Controversies in Communication
Chapman University, Orange, CA
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 4, 2009 |
First day of class...
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| Rating: unrated |
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"And what does Kino say?" Everyone pauses searching for the answer. "He says, 'Yes we have no bananas!"
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Mr. Kennedy, English 10
Redlands, Redlands, CA
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submitted: July 5, 2009 |
Mr. Kennedy's unique paraphrasing of John Steinback's The Pearl
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| Rating: unrated |
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Mr K: Stop looking at porn. Student: (surprised) I-- I was reading the short story. Mr K: Oh I assumed it was porn because that's what I'm looking at on the computer.
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Mr. Kennedy, English 10
Redlands, Redlands, CA
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submitted: July 5, 2009 |
Every student was silently reading the assignment. Mr. Kennedy was on his computer; only God knows what he was looking at.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"The older the violin, the sweeter the music."
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, English
, McAllen, Texas
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submitted: July 6, 2009 |
Ms. G was telling our senior English class about one time a student had a crush on her and was trying to hit on her.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"In all honesty, if you think about it, there can be a reasonable comparison between the Resurrection and an orgasm. All the happiness in the world compressed into one mind-blowing moment."
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Thomas Emmert, Historical Perspectives II
Gustavus Adolphus College, St. Peter, MN
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submitted: July 8, 2009 |
It was a 9:00am Historical Perspectives class and I don't know if he was trying to keep us awake or what, but he was serious.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Student: Mr. Chris, is the final going to be hard? Mr. Christopherson: Viagra blue baby!
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Mr. Christopherson, Honors Chemistry
Normal Community High School, Normal, Il
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submitted: July 8, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Student: "But you always write 'B.C.E' or 'C.E'. Why not 'AD' or 'BC'?"
Prof: "Just suck it up and write 'B.C.E'!!!"
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Michelle Wolfe, Ancient Civilizations
Ohio State University, Mansfield, Ohio
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 9, 2009 |
This kid is always complaining or commenting on something this prof was doing. She always tolerated him, but she finally yelled at him and it was HILARIOUS.
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| Rating: unrated |
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...And this was back in the 70s, when everybody wanted to shoot the President A LOT.
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Robert Saxe, Liberalism
Rhodes College, Memphis, TN
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submitted: July 10, 2009 |
Talking about Nixon.
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| Rating: 10 |
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The difference between a priest and a professor is, a priest is called a reverend, and a professor is called a never-end.
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Dr Souryal, Professionalism and Ethics in Criminal Justice
SHSU, Huntsville, Tx
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: July 11, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Teacher: So where were you during break?
Student: I uh, was in Britney *grin*
Class: *laughter*
Teacher: Ah, in Brittany.
Student: No. In Britney.
Teacher: Yes, in Brittany.
Student: No. Britney. It was a joke.
Teacher: I see. Brittany.
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John Caluwaerts, Methodology for English
Groep T Leuven Educating College, Leuven, Belgium
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 13, 2009 |
Probably a good thing he's retired now.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Let me consult my give a shit meter? *looks at watch* Oh just what I thought. ZERO.
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Chris Portman, Sociology
Grays Harbor College, Aberdeen, WA
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 13, 2009 |
If you miss a test or had some sad story about why you couldn't do something.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"They say kids in backseats cause accidents, but then accidents in backseats cause kids. Remember that over your Thanksgiving break"
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Ms. Swan, GenEd 110
Washington State University, Pullman, WA
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 15, 2009 |
Followed by a drive safe....
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| Rating: 10 |
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I swear its like I ran over a nun and God is punishing me with you
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TA Ryan, some film class
UW Milwaukee, Milwaukee, WI
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 15, 2009 |
This was spoken to a particularly annoying student and was accompanied by lots of eye rubbing and sighing.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"It's okay, I'll just gush all over you anyways!"
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Ed Wohlmuth, Helping Applications
NSCC, Truro, NS
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 16, 2009 |
Ed always had a way of saying normal things very dirtily! We were talking about how nervous we were to do our oral presentation on 'the art of helping' and he was trying to make us feel better!
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| Rating: unrated |
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"It will just be me, you and one other person; and we'll have a good time!"
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Ed Wohlmuth, Helping Applications
NSCC, Truro, NS
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 16, 2009 |
Ed trying to explain how our oral exams were to take place!
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| Rating: unrated |
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"If you are really that cold, you can leave the test, run a lap around the building, and then come back"
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Prof. Wu, Stats 101B
UCLA, Los Angeles, California
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 17, 2009 |
My Chinese professor, 100% genuinely offering this solution after complaining about the sub zero exam conditions
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| Rating: unrated |
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Eye cells are for seeing, and finger cells are for fingering!
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Mr Herbert,
, ,
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 21, 2009 |
Explaining specialised cells, 3 and a bit years ago.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Now, I understand why you're upset, but this is some advice I was told about how to deal with people: Fuck 'em. Just fuck 'em."
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Ted Blaine, n/a
Woodberry Forest, , VA
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Comments? Add
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submitted: July 24, 2009 |
This teacher was the director for a play was in. It was the last dress rehearsal, I didn't do so well, I was the lead, and the people who came that night were rude and pissed off the whole class.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"you kick my dog, I kick you!"
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Mrs. Lee, Algebra
, , California
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: July 24, 2009 |
After a fellow classmate tried to shoo her dog away from eating his homework assignment with his foot. English isn't her primary language, and we're allowed to bring pets to school.
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| Rating: unrated |
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page 1 of 2 (43 quotes) Next |
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