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Jump to page:
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"Right, well, congratulations Smartass. You're my new little friend for the semester. Tell me, Mr. Smartass, what's your major"
Student: "Uh.. Pre med?"
"Ah, I'm sorry... DOCTOR Smartass."
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Michael Carr, THT 120 - Theatre Appreciation
Shelton State Community College, Tuscaloosa, Alabama
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
I love how he takes care of the jocks who just talk/sleep through class. That guy became Dr. SA for the rest of the semester, and he held true to his promise.
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| Rating: 10 |
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An example of a metaphor would be like saying 'Obama is a bear'. Now we obviously know that Obama isn't a bear, he's a Muslim and Muslims can't be bears.
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Professor Angus Bennett, Composition 101
University of South Dakota, Vermillion, South Dakota
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
This was a sarcastic remark, my professor obviously does not think that Obama is a Muslim.
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| Rating: 8 |
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"Okay, so imagine you've got your kids on a rounbdabout, going round and round really fast and all of a sudden, he shoots off in a straight line.
He's left the roundabout on a tangent"
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Crazy Short Dude, Maths 1R
University Of Glasgow, Glasgow, Scotland
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
In a lecture on tangents... Which incidentally is what the lecturer is continually going off on
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| Rating: 8 |
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"I love how it's the first atomic bomb ever built, and there's duct tape on it."
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Ms. Moy, U.S. and The World History Honors
, ,
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
While watching the movie Atomic Cafe in class.
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| Rating: 9.5 |
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In the words of Bad Boys 2, this shit just got real.
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Professor Black, English Literature
Carshalton Boys Sports College, Carshalton, Surrey
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
I wasn't even there, that's how amazing it was.
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| Rating: 9.5 |
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"Molecules are NOT like birds."
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Prof Richardson, Chem 222
Oregon State University, Corvallis, Oregon
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
Statement made in a rather obvious manner like someone had suggested the similarities when in fact he just randomly busted out with this little fact all on his own.
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| Rating: 10 |
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Toluene should not be confused with Tol-u-leeeean, which doesn't exist.
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Dr. Klein, Organic Chemistry I
Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, Maryland
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
Professor illustrated the point by standing on a table and leaning when he got to "tol-u-leeeean"
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| Rating: unrated |
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Alan Ginsburg believed in seminal influence. He wanted to be f---ed by Whitman
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Joshua Weiner, Introduction to Poetry
University of Maryland, College Park, MD
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
This came in the last lecture of a very tough poetry class. We were reviewing for the final exam when someone asked why Ginsburg wrote about Whitman in "A Supermarket in California" This gem came from a teacher notorious for talking around the subject rather than getting to the point quickly.
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| Rating: unrated |
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I've been walking around campus; it's a f*cking zoo.
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Mr. Leckrone, Calculus I
Washtenaw Communitee College, Ann Arbor, Michigan
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
Said on the first day of class. The teacher ended up being pretty amazing.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Unclaimed papers will be thrown into a giant bonfire!
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Mikee Inton, Communication 1
University of the Philippines, Manila, Manila
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
Written on a bulletin board message by our Comm1 prof.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Prof: "What I always wondered is.... Why do girls play with dolls, but boys play with 'action figures?'"
Smart alec: "Because boys do ACTION with their action figures!"
Prof: "I can counter that.... Girls! how many barbies did you have? *listens* Okay, so anywhere from 4 to 20. And how many Kens did you have *listens* 1, maybe 2. And Ken dated all your Barbies, yes?"
*murmurs of assent*
Prof: NOW TELL ME KEN WASN'T GETTING ANY ACTION!
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Professor Melissa Bonstead-Bruns, Intoduction to Sociology
University of Wisconsin- Eau Claire, Eau Claire, Wisconsin
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
| Rating: 10 |
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'A lunar eclipse is as romantic as a solar eclipse is freaky"
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Rupinder Brar, Physics 151
University of Massachusetts, Amherst, Amherst, Massachusetts
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
Random interjection
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| Rating: 5 |
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...because us males are nothing but failed genetic experiments.
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Dr. Demko, Visceral Anatomy
Kaplan College, Merriville, IN
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
| Rating: 4.5 |
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...so don't stand in front of a steam jet. You'll turn into a shrimp: pink and easy to chew."
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Dr. Wayne Hildebrandt, CHM 151-Intro to Chemistry
Northern Arizona University, Flagstaff, Arizona
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
Dr. Hildebrandt explaining how water has a huge heat capacity and how that related to energy in steam.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"To the question 'Is a weak dollar good or bad?', the answer is 'Yes'."
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Shawn Osel, Econ 201
Minnesota State University Mankato, Mankato, Minnesota
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
This was the last sentence of an Econ 201 class one day.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Students aren't as poor as they used to be, they don't steal ethanol from labs like we did in my day.
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Dr. Campopiano, Chemistry
Edinburgh University, Edinburgh, Scotland
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
| Rating: 9.66667 |
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"So, Stonewall Jackson actually survived these wounds. But eight days later, he died of pneumonia anyway-kinda put a crimp in his career."
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Dr. Steven Culbertson, American History 201
Owens Community College, Perrysburg, Ohio
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
Paraphrase-don't remember the exact quote.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Our first problem with the SQl server is that we has too many problems.
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Dr. Eatman, ISM 265 (Databases)
UNCG, Greensboro, NC
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
The day after the first assignment was due Dr. Eatman asked the class to raise their had if they had a problem using the SQL server. Only one person did not raise their hand, needless to say that person did not do the assignment.
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| Rating: 1 |
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Mr Milne: Now, who is going to do accounting next year?
(a sole student raises his hand, Sir doesn't see)
MM: That's good, because Accountants are boring.
Hand-Raising Student: Are you calling me boring?
MM (without missing a beat): Yes, I am.
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Mr Milne, Business Studies
Sidcot School, Somerset, England
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
This kid is a complete dork, who snuggles up to every teacher, so it's good to have him put in his place every so often!
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| Rating: 10 |
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Infinity is 8, taking nap.
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Prof. Dalin Tang,
Worcester Polytechnic Institute, Worcester, MA
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
I wasn't actually in his class for this one, but I still think it's hilarious.
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| Rating: 10 |
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If you are going to study for my tests drunk, I recommend you come to class drunk!
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Prof. Gobert, Cognative Psychology
Worcester Polytechnic Institute, Worcester, MA
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
She was discussing studies about whether it's better to study and take a test drunk or sober.
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| Rating: 1 |
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There are two books everyone should have in their library: the Bible and Spiderman #42. That's a good one."
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Prof. David Shikiar, The Problem of Evil
Worcester Polytechnic Institute, Worcester, MA
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Martill-Should I describe a new species because of one bone or ignore it?
Class-*shrugs with murmurs of 'it's your career'*
Martill-OK well who wants a pterosaur named after them
*Several hands a raised very quickly*
Martill-You realise you'd have to sleep with me?
*MOST hands taken back down*
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Dr David Martill, Palaeobiology and Evolution
University of Portsmouth, Portsmouth, England
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
Prof was deliberating whether he should write a paper on a new species based on one new jaw bone. He was very quick to retract his statement!
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| Rating: unrated |
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Writes 'Statagie' on the board
"Ok students whats the strategy for this integral, err..."
Erases 'Statagie'
Writes 'Strabtagy'
Erases 'Strabtagy' things for a minute
Writes 'Plan'
"Ok students whats the plan for this integral"
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submitted: December 19, 2008 |
Calc 2, great teacher but couldn't spell to save his life.
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| Rating: 8 |
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Yes, we always shave women in the 8th month.
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Mr. Donohue, AP English Literature
White Plains High School, White Plains, NY
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submitted: December 12, 2008 |
While reading a poem in a group of poems about the cycle of pregnancy there was a connection made between sheep's fleece (and preparing it for the baby) and a mothers womb. One kid said a women's womb was fuzzy and then came the quote.
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| Rating: 8 |
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