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Without a microphone people cannot function, but give them a microphone and they say 'Duh...' - but it's real loud.
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Michael Leclerc, Symphonic Band
Merritt Island High School, Merritt Island, FL
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submitted: February 24, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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I want it to be really quiet when I'm barbecuing a section - that way everyone gets to enjoy the smoke and the flavor.
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Michael Leclerc, Symphonic Band
Merritt Island High School, Merritt Island, FL
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submitted: February 24, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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The 'dim.' on your music stands for 'diminuendo,' not 'dimwit' - so it's not your cue.
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Michael Leclerc, Symphonic Band
Merritt Island High School, Merritt Island, FL
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submitted: February 24, 2003 |
Talking to the trumpets, of course.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"All music is based on scales. It just happens that the music coming from the cars on the street is based on the Richter scale."
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Michael Leclerc, Symphonic Band
Merritt Island High School, Merritt Island, FL
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submitted: February 24, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"Why do you have your hand over your mouth? Oh,I thought you were trying to hold back a thought."
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Patricia Ayers, AP English LIterature
Merritt Island High School, Merritt Island, FL
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submitted: February 24, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Jump on it like you know what you're doing!
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John Baird, Calculus
Bartlesville High School, Bartlesville, Oklahoma
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submitted: February 23, 2003 |
Calc teacher's advice to us while implicitly differentiating.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"Your calculator isn't made up little men and women."
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Andrew, Calc II
Georgia Institute of Technolody, Atlanta, Georgia
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submitted: February 23, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Kill a beaver, save a tree.
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Mr. Dressel, Biology
Toledo Christian, Toledo,
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submitted: February 23, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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It's hard to be a revolutionary when the current revolution is "anything goes."
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Dr. Paul Hayden, Professor of Music Composition, Music Theory
Eastern Illinois University, Charleston, Illinois
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submitted: February 22, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Okay, guys. I know that Spring Break starts on Saturday, and my class is on Friday afternoon. I don't want to be sitting here all by myself, so you can just have the day off. We'll call it a reading day!
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Dr. Pearson, English: Imaginary Places
Stetson University, DeLand, FL
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submitted: February 21, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Dr. Brady: "A lot of people want to quit smoking, and they can't."
Student faintly coughs in the back.
Dr. Brady: "Hey, I heard a cough!"
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Dr. Rob Brady, Ethics 350
Stetson University, DeLand, FL
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submitted: February 21, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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There's an indication that you can't teach kids language. You can waste a lot of time trying to teach an infant to talk. Then, they pick it up naturally, and they won't shut up.
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Dr. Rob Brady, Ethics 350
Stetson University, DeLand, FL
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submitted: February 21, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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If you want it exact, rub this sphere on your cat, then put the other sphere on later.
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Sharma, Physics
UTA, Arlington, Tx
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submitted: February 21, 2003 |
I hope he doesn't own a cat. He always wants to charge objects with one.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"and that is why you must ALWAYS use precautions!"
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prof. Ioav Kabanchik, advanced physiology
hebrew university, jerusalem, israel
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submitted: February 21, 2003 |
explaining about iron metabolism and the dangers of allowing iron ions to enter cells
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| Rating: unrated |
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(Picture a very tall man, jumping up and down on a rickety old table, wearing a clown wig and waving pom-poms) Sine cosine cosine sine, cosine cosine sine sine sign!
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T. Lorntson, Advanced Math
Gilbert High School, Gilbert, Iowa
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submitted: February 21, 2003 |
He was trying to help us remember something. I don't recall what exactly it was, but you can be sure nobody forgot the formula for it.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Greek is like underwear. You need it for support, but you never let anyone see it."
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Dr. Hoffeditz, New Testament Survey
Cedarville University, Cedarville, Ohio
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submitted: February 21, 2003 |
While writing a Greek word on the board.
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| Rating: unrated |
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News:
I'm going to go ahead with the ProfQuotes t-shirts. Since it should be a group decision which quotes go on the shirts, post your favourite quotes from the site in reply to this. The ten most popular will go on the shirts.
Jason
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submitted: February 21, 2003 |
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"It's all spoons!"
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Dr. Milde, English 212
Eastern Kentucky University, Richmond, Kentucky
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Comments? Add
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submitted: February 21, 2003 |
Said in regards to Alanis Morrisette's "Ironic" (10,00 spoons when al you need is a knife)while trying to explain irony to an 8am summer class.
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| Rating: unrated |
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If your calcium/potassium pumps fail, you'll die. **long pause** and that's bad.
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Dr. David Eakin, Honors Biology 315
Eastern Kentucky University, Richmond, Kentucky
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submitted: February 21, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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“So a man sees a dog lying on the road. He wants thinks the dog is dead. To test his theory he naturally pokes it with a stick., thus ascertaining the dog’s state.”
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Dr. McGuire, History and Philosophy of Science
University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, PA
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submitted: February 20, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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*Places a slide with a blender containing pink goo on slide projector*
“Two seconds ago this was a mouse. Welcome to bio lab 1.”
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Dr. Bott, Lab asociated with Biology 1
Texsas Acadamy of Math and Science, TAMS, Fort Worth, Texsas
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submitted: February 20, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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We're going to complexify the problem, by which I mean make it simpler.
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Arthur Mattuck, Differential Equations
MIT, Cambridge, MA
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submitted: February 20, 2003 |
Using complex numbers evaluate a tricky antiderivative.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Student: [Describes an article she has read in the New Yorker about Harold Bloom. At some point, uses the phrase "in his sexual being."]
Teaching Fellow: One thing we do not want to do in this class is imagine Harold Bloom in his sexual being.
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Gustavo Secchi, Shakespeare: The Later Plays
Harvard University, Cambridge, MA
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submitted: February 20, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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They're ready to come in my office and kick my ass sideways every time they don't understand something. They're ready to rough up my mom and she's been dead for four years.
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Gary Sherman,
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, IN
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submitted: February 20, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Right thinking is thinking like I do, of course.
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Gary Sherman,
Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, IN
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submitted: February 20, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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