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Jump to page:
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Student asks: "Is there any extra credit in this class?"
Teacher: "If you bring in marijuana, sure. Why...you got some on your right now?"
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Andrew Bark, Social Problems
Fullerton College, Fullerton, CA
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Comments? Add
or View (5)
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submitted: February 1, 2003 |
This teacher was actually put on 'administrative leave' soon after...because they found marijuana in his office. It was a big scandal. Quite hilarious...considering he constantly talked about drugs in class.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Yeah...what's up with all of these new 'designer drugs' and sh*t? I mean, I know they have all those rave-type parties out in the desert where everyone goes and gets f*cked up. I must be lookin' in all the wrong places, 'cuz I STILL haven't been able to find ONE of those damned parties!"
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Andrew Bark, Social Problems
Fullerton College, Fullerton, CA
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: February 1, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"And if any of you are late on the day we have presentations, I will roll you up in carpets and stomp you to death just like the Abbasid Caliph."
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Prof Wolper, Sufism
UNH, Durham, NH
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: February 1, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"Yes, I, much like you, did go to college once... and yes, it was in this century - oh, wait... damn."
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Prof McMahon, Ancient Near Eastern History
UNH, Durham, NH
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: February 1, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"I feel it is my duty as an educator not to answer that question."
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Mr. Kingston,
Crystal Lake Central High School, ,
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: February 1, 2003 |
He said this after just about every question anyone ever asked him.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"You all know what a battering ram is right? Basiaclly you take a huge hunk of wood and ram it through a wall, and its great fun!.. Unless its your wall."
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Mr. Hazelgrove, Comp II
MCC, Crystal Lake, IL
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: February 1, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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We have not made pecan pies with femurs.
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T. Austin, ANTH 2700
UNT, Denton, TX
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
Physical Anthro class- we had to remember which bones were which. His pneumonic device for the femur- it looks like a hammer. This ended up devolving into a discussion as to whether or not you could crack nuts with femurs, and ended with this line.
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| Rating: unrated |
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If you fill up more than one exam book, you're dead.
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Dr. Kelly, Econ 202
Universtiy of Regina, Regina, SK
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
After handing out the final, he muttered as he left the room.
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| Rating: unrated |
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I sold cars for 5 years. That was the only real job I've had. The rest of the time I've been doing academic stuff, teaching...
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Dr. Wilcox, Anth 2350 (Cultural Diversity in the United States)
U of North Texas, Denton, TX
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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I sound like I know it all because I think I know it all. But I'm always ready for a good argument.
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Dr. Wilcox, Anth 2350 (Cultural Diversity in the United States)
U of North Texas, Denton, TX
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
The class wasn't answering when he wanted a discussion
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| Rating: unrated |
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"And then your packet scooty-poots it's way across the internet ... "
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Prof Coe, Intro to Computers
Devry, Alpharetta, GA
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
Scooty-poots was the highly technical term used by this prof to explain how pretty much anything electronic moved from point A to point B.
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| Rating: unrated |
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All electronics run on magic smoke. When something electronic is destroyed, it stops working, not because of anything as complicated as volts and amps, but simply because the smoke escaped! You can tell when the smoke has escaped by the black stain on the part and that special smell. That's why we say "The smoke escaped!" when explaining why something electronic won't work.
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Uni of the Orange Free State, Bloemfontein, South Africa,
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Comments? Add
or View (4)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
A common explanation of the TA's to first year CS students when asked about blown components.
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| Rating: 10 |
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Prof: We solve this limit using factorization.
Student: Couldn't we use L'Hopital's rule?
Prof: That would be like using a
sledgehammer to kill a fly.
Student: Yeah, but it would still be dead.
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Dr. Argerami, Math 111
University of Regina, Regina, SK
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Comments? Add
or View (6)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"Last semester the average on the final exam was 42.9%. This time I want a higher average then that so instead of hoping that you've learned more I've made the test true or false. You'll score better if you rely on a coin rather then your own intellect."
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Dr. Willet, History 106, America since reconstruction
Texas A&M Univeristy at Galveston, Galveston, TX
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
This was in a two part history class and we had all had him the previous semester. I still haven't figured out why we all took a class from him again...
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| Rating: unrated |
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Student: How many points will you deduct if you can't find the thesis statement?
Prof: 6.9137
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C. Sullivan, WR 121
PCC, Portland, OR
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
our teacher was explaining expository papers to us..and he doesn't have a set grading system for the papers
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| Rating: unrated |
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*cell phone rings during lecture and the Prof grabs it before the student can*
"Hello?"
"No, he's not here at the moment"
"Outside with his girlfriend"
"OK, good-bye"
*hangs up and hands the phone back to the student
"That was your wife"
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Prof Frederick,
DeVry University, Phoenix, AZ
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
Teacher ended up calling back the wife to explain what was going on
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| Rating: 10 |
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"That's right, if you do better on a test you deserve more points with the curve."
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Dr. Marand, Physical Chemistry
Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, Virginia
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
Explaining why I got a 5 point curve with a 90 on a test and my friend got a 2 point curve with a 50 on the test. I never figured out that logic.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"So I've got this ambiguity software that allows you to type in your questions and then it changes the wording to be really ambiguous. Its great for multiple choice exams, it lowers the average 20 or 30 points."
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Dr. Falkingham, Genetics
Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, Virginia
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
He had to explain to the class that he was joking as they looked on in fear.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Let's say you got balls."
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Dr. Pusey, FORTRAN
Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, VA
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
On explaining how different sequences are filtered out by allowing small balls throuh, then larger balls, followed by the largest balls.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Patrick, if you have a brother, and I have a brother... you and I are brothers"
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, A-Level Physics
Islington 6th Form Centre, London, UK
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
As said by a physics tutor to a student at the end of a class, I think he was trying to prove some point!
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| Rating: unrated |
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You shouldn't ask me how to do the examples I set you. I set you them because if I do them, I'm likely to get them wrong
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Tom Lenigan, Galios Theory
Edinburgh University, Edinburgh, U.K.
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"Remember, DESIGN must NEVER be confused with DECORATION...after you take my class you wouldn't recognize a thing out there"
"We're spending too much money on decorations and making objects ugly when it should be simple which makes it beautiful, for example cars back in the 70's were known for being fancy with fins and opera windows, those are nothing but crap, they should be rejected, but once it becomes popular, the ugliness turns into beauty, and Americans go with the decorated stuff and forget simplicity, that's where easy profit comes to place"
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Jack King, Art in modern life (King Art)
El Camino College, Torrance, CA
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
I never had a teacher speak of such truth and have hatred on the mainstream selling out culture. He sure made me confident of questioning why we spend money on un-useful add-ons and such...etc.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"I'm not against profit, I love profit.....but only HONEST profit"
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Jack King, Art 1
El Camino College, Torrance, CA
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
not to be confused with socialists
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| Rating: unrated |
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I'm going to give you a piece of paper with some information on it, and at least this one will match your canary when you use it to line your birdcage.
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Dr. Black, CIS 121
Eastern Kentucky University, Richmond, Kentucky
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
The bright yellow sheet of paper he was handing out had pretty much useless facts about keyboard shortcuts we already knew, and to this day I wonder why he even bothered. The sheer cynical tone of voice he used still cracks me up, though.
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| Rating: unrated |
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The class below us must hate me.
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Dr. Renshaw, Physics
Lewisville HS, Lewisville, Tx
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: January 31, 2003 |
After dropping a bowling ball on the second floor to demonstrate gravity... three times.
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| Rating: unrated |
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