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El Nino means baby Jesus, and La Nina is the opposite of that.
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Ki-Hong Min, Synoptic Meteorology
Valparaiso University, Valparaiso, IN
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submitted: May 2, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Here are the handouts. I mean photocopies. The republican kids hate when I call them handouts.
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Dr. Bert Kerr, MATH 254
New Mexico Tech, Socorro, New Mexico
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submitted: May 2, 2009 |
| Rating: 10 |
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*writes the equation on the board: integral of one over cabin, d cabin* "equals houseboat!"
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Dr. Barry Brunson, Calc II
Western Kentucky University, Bowling Green, Ky
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submitted: May 6, 2009 |
omg. for those who don't know, or are using stumble upon and dont know calc, or those or are just reading this at 3 in the morning like me, its the Ln(cabin) + C = log cabin + sea = houseboat
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| Rating: 10 |
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You can use the internet for some of your research. Where do you find the internet you ask? Just follow the trail of porn on your computer.
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Dr. Brian McKenzie, History of Ireland 1798-Present
Kutztown University, Kutztown, Pa
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submitted: May 7, 2009 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Square me.
Square me baby.
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Dr. Rob Smith, Mathematics for Physicists
University of Birmingham School of Physics an, Birmingham,
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submitted: May 8, 2009 |
Referring to how a function would express it's desire to be squared.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Sex is bad, awful, and terrible; so save it for marriage and the one you love."
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Dr. Ron Wright, PSY3032
Mount Vernon Nazarene University, Mount Vernon, Ohio
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submitted: May 8, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"An effective teacher does not stone people."
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Dr. Jane Kennard, CED2053
Mount Vernon Nazarene University, Mount Vernon, Ohio
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submitted: May 8, 2009 |
Teaching The Bible
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| Rating: unrated |
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"God spoke through Balaam's ass. Donkey! God spoke through Balaam's donkey!"
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Dr. Barney Cochran, HIS1003
Mount Vernon Nazarene University, Mount Vernon, Ohio
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submitted: May 8, 2009 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
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Prof. Ralph Showalter, Real Analysis (513)
Oregon State University, Corvallis, Oregon
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submitted: May 9, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Fixing grammar is easy. All you have to do is find the thing that's fucked and unfuck it.
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Dr. Schooling, Rhetoric 102
, ,
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submitted: May 25, 2009 |
| Rating: 10 |
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"Well, the thing you have to understand is that the idiots at the Ivy League colleges don't like to teach anything that isn't at least forty or fifty years old. That way, in theory, they don't have to worry about what they're teaching being proved wrong any time soon."
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Prof. Peter Skiff, Physical Science After Newton
Bard College, Annandale-On-Hudson, New York
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submitted: May 25, 2009 |
Peter Skiff is an amazing man. This is only one of a treasure trove of quotes he lays out every day, but remembering them all is hard.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"I don't like cake. But I like brownies. Ever had pot brownies? That's some heavvvvy shit if you eat too much. I probably shouldn't have said that out loud."
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Prof. Davis, History of Rock n Roll
Kingwood CC, Kingwood, Texas
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submitted: May 26, 2009 |
I told him to bring cake.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"The war of 1812 was about money, and power, but most importantly.... it was about love... no it wasn't i made that up to see your reactions."
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Prof. Kincholoe, Early American History
Eastern Ct State University, ,
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submitted: May 26, 2009 |
Haha funniest thing i have ever heard.
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| Rating: 8 |
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The next thing I am about to tell you about is really complicated and probably not true. Contrary, the simpler concepts I teach you are probably more true. Let's go...
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, Astronomy 123
University of Oregon, Eugene, Oregon
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submitted: May 26, 2009 |
Talking about a new astronomy concept.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Mrs Brown: When I was young my sister read in cosmotallgen to rub motor oil on your body for a good tan.
Student: I think you mean cosmopolitan
Mrs. Brown: Oh yes, sorry I was confused with the ice cream
Student: That would be neopolitan
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Mrs.Brown, Anatomy
New Hanover, Wilmington, North Carolina
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submitted: May 26, 2009 |
Some teachers should retire when their memory starts to go...
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Pornography - what's the etymology? Is there anyone online who can..."
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Craig Dworkin, ENGL 3600
University of Utah, Salt Lake City, UT
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submitted: May 26, 2009 |
And then he realized he was asking us to look up porn online.
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| Rating: unrated |
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You might look at this and say "Oh its too big, what am I going to do with it?" I say that too sometimes, but thats for other reasons.
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Kirk Peterson, Chemistry 105
Washington State University, Pullman, WA
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submitted: May 26, 2009 |
Referring to a lewis diagram that was on our exam. I dont know what his reasons were, he didnt elaborate.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Well, the buffoon who is responsible for canceling classes finally laid off the cough syrup long enough to figure out that we should cancel classes this afternoon.
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Steven Ortiz, History 429- America 1914-1945
Bowling Green State University, Bowling Green, Ohio
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submitted: May 26, 2009 |
This is when we had morning classes canceled due to ice and almost 3 feet of snow... someone thought it would all melt so classes could commence after 1pm.
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| Rating: unrated |
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What's the difference between a pun and a fart? A pun is a shift of wit.
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Kevin Gildea, ENG1100Z - Essay Writing
University of Ottawa, Ottawa, ON
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submitted: May 26, 2009 |
First day, proving he was awesome in every way.
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| Rating: 10 |
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That's exactly why we should invade Canada and give Texas to Mexico!
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Dr. Wheeler, World Cultural Geography
Southwestern Oklahoma State University, Weatherford, Oklahoma
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submitted: May 26, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"Little old ladies in the woods are never just little old ladies in the woods! That is NOT someone's grandmother!"
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Dr. Benson, Chaucer
Sewanee: The University of the South, Sewanee, TN
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submitted: May 27, 2009 |
Talking about The Wife of Bath's Tale.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Sometimes in order to have world peace and happiness, you have to have a great power pointing a gun at everyone saying "It'll be world peace and happiness or I'll shoot you" to get everyone dancing around like hippies.
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, Intro to International Relations
Richmond International University, London, UK
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submitted: May 27, 2009 |
Professor is young and Australian.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Prof: How'd you fix it?
Tech guy: I turned it off and then back on.
Prof: Why didn't I think of that? I do that all the time at home with my wife.[class snickers] No, really, like she'll think the blender is broken and I'll just turn it off... [class laughs harder] Oh, forget it.
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Dr. Van Gooch, Cell Biology
U of MN, Morris, ,
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submitted: May 27, 2009 |
The projector wasn't working before class and suddenly lit up in the middle of lecture.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"And now we move on to 'Taxes, How We Got Them, and Lies, Damn Lies.'"
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Vaughn Elliott III, Principles of Microeconomics
Auburn University, Auburn, AL
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submitted: May 27, 2009 |
Microeconomics professor teaching the United States Federal Income Tax Code. This was one of my favorite professors EVER.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Dr. Baron: "Honestly, who here though the integral of that would be an arctangent function?" -one dude raises his hand- Dr. Barron: "Now that guy's full of shit."
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Dr. Baron, Math 242
La Tech, Ruston, LA
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submitted: May 27, 2009 |
Dr. Barron set the class on fire with laughter after this one. The guy that raised his hand is a friend, and you didn't hear a peep outta him for an hour or two.
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| Rating: unrated |
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page 1 of 4 (78 quotes) Next |
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