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Today we are going to teach you 3 ways to inflate your pants.
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Kathy Brock, PE 310
UW-Madison, Madison, WI
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submitted: January 5, 2009 |
Whenever I tell my friends about this, they always think it is something dirty, but we were learning water survival skills
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| Rating: unrated |
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"it's not hard to remember, just think about someone at fed-ex whose tired of his job and started doing pot..."
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Linda Hardin, Hardware 1
Caldwell Community College, Boone, NC
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submitted: January 4, 2009 |
A mental image that has never let me forget what the high loader does, Linda had a wierd sense of teaching.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Alright now we're going to talk about intrusive relationships, now these arn't your boyfriend girlfriend relationships we're talking about dikes.
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,
Eckerd College, ,
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submitted: January 4, 2009 |
Geology class on intrusive magmatic structures otherwise known as dikes
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| Rating: 9.33333 |
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"Its like your girlfriend saying 'I had sex with Bob...he has AIDS.'"
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Dr. Nathan Mao, Introduction to Literature
Shippensburg University, Shippensburg, Pennsylvania
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submitted: January 3, 2009 |
While we were discussing cheating in a short story.
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| Rating: unrated |
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I always thought "Backstreet Boys" was a very explicit name. I mean, what are they doing in those back streets?
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Dr. Richard Santana, Shakespeare: Comedies
Rochester Institute of Technology, Rochester, New York
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submitted: January 3, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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What do you know about scalping, off the top of your...
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Hester,
School Of The Woods, Houston, Texas
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submitted: January 3, 2009 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Faster, deeper! Faster, deeper!!!
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Prof. Jim Pawelzyk, Exercise Phyisiology
Pennsylvania State University, University Park, PA
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submitted: January 2, 2009 |
This was a physiology party trick that our prof was doing to demonstrate hyperventilation and holding your breath. He realized what he said and started laughing hysterically.
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| Rating: 10 |
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Arithmetic is like a bow and arrow, calculus is like a magnum. Doing this problem is like shooting a fly with a magnum!
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Dr. Manickam, MATH255
Western Carolina University, Cullowhee, North Carolina
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submitted: January 2, 2009 |
"What did you learn in math today?"
"How to shoot a fly with a gun."
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| Rating: unrated |
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Professor: Did you read the chapter?
Student: Kinda
Professor: Either you read it or not. It's like kinda being pregnant, not possible.
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Professor Kate Maury, Ceramics
University of Wisconsin-Stout, Menomonie, WI
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submitted: December 31, 2008 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Power corrupts, but Powerpoint corrupts absolutely.
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William Joel Schneider, PSY 100: Intro to Psychology
Illinois State University, Normal, Illinois
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Comments? Add
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submitted: December 31, 2008 |
The Powerpoint went out in our 300 person lecture and he was forced to do everything on overhead projector. He blamed his inadequacy with the overhead to the fact that he has only used Powerpoint in the last however many years.
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| Rating: unrated |
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You girls are lucky you don't have a prostate.
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Dr. Stertz, History of European Society and Culture to the 1800s
Stevens Institute of Technology, Hoboken, New Jersey
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submitted: December 30, 2008 |
The professor said this while discussing the reason why he was ending class so early--because he had to go to the bathroom.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Assume a spherical bird.
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Dr. Ted Clarke, PHYS 251
Christian Brothers University, Memphis, TN
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submitted: December 30, 2008 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Humanities classes are core classes, which tends to make students follow the "D is for Diploma" rule. I know when I was in college I certainly did. Of course, some people switch the rule around; they follow the "F is for Fiploma" rule, which is ridiculous because I don't think Geneva even offers Fiplomas.
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Russ Warren, Humanities 103
Geneva College, Beaver Falls, PA
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submitted: December 30, 2008 |
First day of class. This made my life.
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| Rating: 10 |
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I get quite excited when people talk about the plague. I start feeling like I'm relevant for like.. 5 minutes.
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Dr. Erin Jordan, History of Western Civ.
University of Northern Colorado, Greeley, CO
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submitted: December 30, 2008 |
| Rating: 10 |
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This passage isn't very hard. All you've got to do is play that first note at the right time, then play the rest of those notes very quickly.
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Dr. Ken Singleton, Concert Band
University of Northern Colorado, Greeley, CO
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submitted: December 30, 2008 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"Who here knows what an engineer does?"
"Solves problems?"
"My wife solves problems. Is she an engineer?"
"I don't know... is she?"
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Dr. Brown, Intro to Engineering
Catholic University of America, Washington, DC,
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submitted: December 30, 2008 |
Dean of Engineering department to me on the first day of class. He was trying to establish what an engineer is. Needless to say, he failed.
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| Rating: 5.5 |
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Sapp: *Talks about a class he had to take for public safety training* Student: *Asks question about drug use* Sapp: "I'm not rolling, if that's what you mean." *Laughter* Sapp:"Those of you who laughed, that's bad that you know what that means!"
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Mr. Sapp, American History
Truman High, Independence, MO
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submitted: December 29, 2008 |
It was funnier when it happened.
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| Rating: 8 |
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Have a great weekend! With any luck the world will explode tonight!
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Mr. Nerio Calgaro, physics
East Peoria Community High School, ,
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submitted: December 29, 2008 |
He frequently said cheery things like this on Fridays.
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| Rating: unrated |
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If you take all the squirrels in the world, smash em up and weigh em, that's biomass.
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Mr. Johnson, Biology
Severna Park High, Severna Park, MD
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submitted: December 28, 2008 |
| Rating: 6 |
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The only thing you really need to know as an electrical engineer is V=IR and you can't see in the dark. The only thing you really need to know as a mechanical engineer is E=MC^2 and you can't push on a rope.
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Dr. Peno, ECE 200
University of Dayton, Dayton, OH
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: December 28, 2008 |
He liked to get on random things.
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| Rating: 9.33333 |
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So what Robert Frost was talking about was the fences keeping neighbors from interfering in our personal lives AND DAMNIT ROBERT IF YOU RUB THAT THING IN YOUR LAP ONE MORE TIME YOU'RE SUSPENDED!
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Richard Ward, 10th Grade Lit
Cross Creek High School, Augusta, GA
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submitted: December 28, 2008 |
Robert had a small mirror in his lap he was using his shirt to wipe off.
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| Rating: 9 |
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Sometime you just have to kill your children.
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Harmony Button, WTG 111
The University of Utah, Salt Lake City, Utah
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submitted: December 28, 2008 |
She was using children as a metaphor for the essays we'd been writing for four weeks, and explaining that sometimes you just have to start over.
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| Rating: 10 |
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'I'm very good with figures, both female and financial'
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submitted: December 28, 2008 |
Said after a student congratulated him on successfully performing basic maths.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Do you have a penchant for aluminum, goat boy?
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Dr. Doug Bowman, Calculus I
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, IL
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submitted: December 28, 2008 |
Sadly, I wasn't really paying attention until I heard this, so I have no idea what the context was
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| Rating: 10 |
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Now, if we just measure this out on the unit cir-... ah, the unit potato here...
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Dr. Joseph Neggers, Math 113 - Trigonometry/Precalculus
The University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Alabama
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submitted: December 27, 2008 |
No matter how hard you try, you'll never draw a perfect circle freehand on the blackboard. I admire him for admitting this openly.
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| Rating: 9.57143 |
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