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Jump to page:
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Joel: What was college like for you back in the day?
Chesney: I don't remember. I was drunker than a......
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Dr. David Chesney, CH2212 Quantatitive Analysis
Michigan Technological University, Houghton, MI
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 1, 2004 |
Dr. Chesney on his "early years".
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| Rating: 9 |
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Dr. Hauck: [some quizbowl question about the Maine]
Student: "The Missouri."
Dr. Hauck: "That wouldn't be a battleship, because battleships are named after states."
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Dr. Pete Hauck, College Bowl
Stetson University, DeLand, FL
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: May 1, 2004 |
Well, he is a chemistry professor. :-)
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| Rating: 10 |
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Student: "Don't drink that! I heard Diet Coke gives you brain leisons."
Dr. Farrell: "Who cares, I have tenure."
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Dr. Farrell (?), ?
Stetson University, DeLand, FL
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 2, 2004 |
| Rating: 9 |
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Mr. Duffy: "So this Germany trip is for 10 days, and you say that if I don't sign this, then you don't go?"
Student 1:"That's right."
Mr. Duffy: "What do you think [student 2], should I sign it for him?"
Student 2: "Oh, please, sir, send him to Germany."
Mr. Duffy: "You're right... it will be the most PEACEFUL 10 DAYS OF MY LIFE!"
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Joseph Duffy, Honors Freshman English
Manchester West High, Manchester, NH
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: May 3, 2004 |
Mr. Duffy and Student 2 have spent hours discussing the fact that Student 1 might feel more comfortable in a lower-level class... say, 3rd grade.
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| Rating: 9 |
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It's cock-eyed. I don't understand it on, like... an Einstein level. More like a Howdy Doody level.
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Karl White, Structural Bodywork
Arizona School of Massage Therapy, Tempe, AZ
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 3, 2004 |
Well, thank you. That's very reassuring, Karl. Especially since that's our Final you're talking about. *whimpers*
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| Rating: unrated |
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The trouble with you, Winston, is that you *believe* your own BS.
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Joseph Duffy, Honors Freshman English
Manchester West High, Manchester, NH
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: May 4, 2004 |
Interrupting Winston trying to justify a completely wrong answer.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"If you go to Miami for spring break you don't have to do homework, you don't have to take tests. There is no pressure gradient force on you."
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Dr. Chen, Atmospheric Dynamics, Meteorology 443
Iowa State University, Ames,
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 4, 2004 |
Trying to explain how the pressure gradient force works.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"The Thermal Wind blows..."
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Dave Flory, Synoptic Meteorology 311
Iowa State University, Ames, IA
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: May 4, 2004 |
He trailed off after writing those 4 words on the board, stared at it contemplatively, and then continued in writing the rest of the sentence. (It ended up having actual meaning.)
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| Rating: unrated |
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Long ago, there were machines actually based on a hexadecimal number system.
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Dr. J. Cooper, Numerical Analysis
University of Maryland, College Park, MD
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Comments? Add
or View (4)
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submitted: May 4, 2004 |
He's old enough to remember it, too!
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| Rating: unrated |
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This is the absolute truth, which is not defeated by any expiriments so far.
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Dr. T. Shiokawa, guest lecturer, Modern Physics/Quantum for Dummies
University of Maryland, College Park, MD
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 4, 2004 |
| Rating: 9 |
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James Clerk Maxwell-- he was one smart S. O. B. But it turns out he was wrong.
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Dr. Ichiro Takeuchi, Modern Physics
University of Maryland, College Park, MD
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: May 4, 2004 |
| Rating: 9 |
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To appreciate quantum mechanics, look at the failure of classical mechanics.
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Dr. Ichiro Takeuchi, Modern Physics
University of Maryland, College Park, MD
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: May 4, 2004 |
on how classical physics couldn't explain the photoelectric effect.
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| Rating: 10 |
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By 'technicians,' we mean 'graduate students.'
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Dr. Ichiro Takeuchi, Modern Physics
University of Maryland, College Park, MD
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 4, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Because you won't finish it, I guaren-darn-tee you.
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Dave Koenecke, Anatomy/Physiology III
Arizona School of Massage Therapy, Tempe, AZ
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: May 5, 2004 |
About an assignment for the day.
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| Rating: unrated |
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The periodic table is full of a bunch of elements we never use in chemistry. I don't even know the names of them like The symbol Tm or Yb.
I guess it's better than being element 67.
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Dr. Jimmy Rogers,
UTA, Arlington, Texas
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 5, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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If you want to go right, a little magic elf will come by and give you more tape.
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Edith Hemaspaandra, Foundations of Computer Theory
Rochester Institute of Technology, Rochester, NY
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 6, 2004 |
When talking about how Turing machines are only one-way infinite
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| Rating: unrated |
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Rogers who? Rogers, the one with the potatoes.
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Dr. Rachel Blas, Personality
Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: May 6, 2004 |
see http://www.profquotes.com/view_comments.php?quote_id=929 ...
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| Rating: 10 |
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d) EDTA = DEATh
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Dr. David Chesney, CH2212 Quantatitive Analysis
Michigan Technological University, Houghton, MI
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 6, 2004 |
Somehow, I found this to be a disturbing answer on our final exam. I wonder if he meant that this final will be the "DEATh" of us all?
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| Rating: 1 |
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[Having just arrived at the relation he was trying to derive]
...and so we get exactly what we wanted. Happiness!
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Dr. Malcolm Longair, Part IA Physics
Cambridge University, Cambridge, England
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: May 6, 2004 |
Imagine this coming from a short, balding, aged Scottish man leaping up and down in front of the blackboards, beaming with pride at having derived the Planck distribution.
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| Rating: 7 |
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I could invent a new category, "bliggles," which meant "everything on this lectern."
[Picking up his pen off the lectern]
So, this is a bliggle.
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Dr. Peter Lipton, Philosophy of Science IB
Cambridge University, Cambridge, England
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 6, 2004 |
The joys of positional predicates, or, how to invent new words halfway through a lecture...
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| Rating: 8 |
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"I can't figure out kids and diaphragms. They're kind of opposite, really. If you have one, you're not supposed to have the other."
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Stephen Burt, 20th C. Poetry
Macalester, St. Paul, MN
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 6, 2004 |
on Larkin's "High Windows"
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| Rating: 6.5 |
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If your table partner falls asleep, do them a favor and stab them in the hand. Studies show that 98% of people who are stabbed in the hand do not fall asleep again in the same class period.
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Dr. John Kolena, Physics with Advanced Topics
The North Carolina School of Science and Math, Durham, North Carolina
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 7, 2004 |
Dr. Kolena did an example problem for the class involving my table partner stabbing my hand. Wasn't my fault - had a lot of HW the night before!
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| Rating: 10 |
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Who's suffering more? Are you suffering more than I am? Probably.
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Dr. Richard Jennings, NatSci IB History and Philsophy of Science
Cambridge University, Cambridge, England
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: May 10, 2004 |
It was an ethics lecture, and he was talking about the problem of quantifying suffering.
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| Rating: 8 |
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Prof. Vazirani: Everyone knows about the P and NP complexity classes?
Class: No response
Prof. Vazirani: Anyone in here who doesn't know about P and NP complexity classes?
*A few students tentatively raise their hands*
Prof. Vazirani: Then what are you doing in here? It's a fine sunny day outside. Why don't you go and play in the park?
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Vijay Vazirani, Design and Analysis of Algorithms
Georgia Tech, Atlanta, GA
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 14, 2004 |
This is an course for Theory PhD students that requires a sound theory background.
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| Rating: 9.33333 |
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"If you stay in teaching long enough, you're going to get sued. And you're going to get threatened a lot."
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Dr. John Wheeler, Educational Psychology
Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar, Missouri
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: May 14, 2004 |
That's comforting.
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| Rating: unrated |
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page 1 of 2 (41 quotes) Next |
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