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The Cuban Missile Crisis was over. We didn't blow ourselves up. We would have noticed if we had.
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Dr. Ede, HIST391: The History of Technology
University of Alberta, Edmonton, Alberta
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Comments? Add
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Same thing happens every year...all the loooosers and druggies sit in the back of the room in the fifty-row.
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Mr. Rosengarten, Physics
Lindenhurst High, Lindenhurst, NY
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
I was in the fifty row!
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| Rating: unrated |
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What an amazing technological development!
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Dr. Ede, HIST391: The History of Technology
University of Alberta, Edmonton, Alberta
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
in reference to .... astroturf. Yes, Ede is very...um...interesting.
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| Rating: unrated |
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I single-handed'y father my children.
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Steven Cavan, Pre-Socratic Philosophy
University of Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
Comment expressed while showing an ultrasound of his twins conceived via artificial insemination.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Perl looks like...I don't know what it looks like. You would probably say it looks Greek to you. But not to me--because I speak Greek.
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P. Takis Metaxas, Bioinformatics
Wellesley University, Wellesley, MA
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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There's a Zen trick to understanding computer science. First, become a pervert. Then, just think naturally.
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Harry Mairson, Fundamentals of Programming
Brandeis University, Waltham, MA
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
Apparently trying to keep us awake.
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| Rating: unrated |
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I'm going to put my glasses on because I can't hear you.
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Philip Keehn, Organic Chemistry
Brandeis University, Waltham, MA
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"don't use the words left or right with me. I don't know the difference; my husband hates it.
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Lisa Perez, C programming
San Jauquin Delta College, Stockton, Ca.
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Comments? Add
or View (7)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
And to think, she might actually have her job after the education budget cuts (2003).
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| Rating: unrated |
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"What's the first thing that humans do with cool new information? Make a bomb!"
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Bill Ennis, Physics 1
East Anchorage High School, Anchorage, AK
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Prof: "Questions, concerns, comments?"
Student: "What about resistance?"
Prof: "Resistance? Resistance is futile!"
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Dr. Cora Neal, AS A252, Elementary Statistics
University of Alaska Anchorage, Anchorage, AK
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
The session before an exam, I believe.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"I have a friend. It's a very nice thing to have, just one friend. And my friend has hair and eyes."
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Dr. Cora Neal, AS A252, Elementary Statistics
University of Alaska Anchorage, Anchorage, AK
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: 9 |
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"...Come in?"
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Dr. Cora Neal, AS A252, Elementary Statistics
University of Alaska Anchorage, Anchorage, AK
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
After someone knocks loudly on the other side of the classroom's rear wall.
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| Rating: 8 |
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"That was a long story. I got away from my point. Did I have a point? I'm not sure anymore."
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Dr. Cora Neal, AS A252, Elementary Statistics
University of Alaska Anchorage, Anchorage, AK
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"That was the lesson we learned. Don't smack a guy in the face with your computer. It's very bad form."
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Dr. Elizabeth Dennison, HIST 101, Western Civilization I
University of Alaska Anchorage, Anchorage, AK
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Comments? Add
or View (6)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"'I have found the last bug.' Famous last words."
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Dr. David Meyers, CS A201, Programming Concepts
University of Alaska Anchorage, Anchorage, AK
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Prof: "Last time we went over vectors. Any questions about vectors?"
Student: "Yeah, what are they?"
Prof: "Heh... yeah, what are they?"
(Professor throws a piece of chalk at the student, hitting him in the chest)
Student: "Hey, I'm dressed in black!"
Prof: "Heh heh. Sorry. I couldn't resist."
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Dr. David Meyers, CS A201, Programming Concepts
University of Alaska Anchorage, Anchorage, AK
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
A particular student with a tendency toward smartassery finally gets what's coming to him.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"I have one more demonstration: a short film showing a dog dying. If all goes well."
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Dr. Jim Pantaleone, Physics A211
University of Alaska Anchorage, Anchorage, AK
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Comments? Add
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
During a lecture on waves and resonance. (The film was of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse.)
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Let's say UPS has a contract to deliver mail to the other side of the Earth, and they want to do it as fast as possible, so their idea is to drill a hole through the center of the Earth and just throw the mail down."
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Dr. Jim Pantaleone, Physics A211
University of Alaska Anchorage, Anchorage, AK
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
Example during a lecture on gravity.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"You can't change people. My ex-wife tried to change me...and look, she's my ex-wife!"
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Prof. Lushing, Civil Procedure
Cardozo School of Law, New York, New York
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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When you're sitting with your buddies around a table littered with beer bottles you can tell them you're the best sex she's ever had. Because you're the ONLY sex she's ever had. It's a confidence booster.
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Prof. Hiltz, World Hst
Northeastern U, Boston, MA
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
Stemmed from a discussion on Gilgamesh and the role of women in early Mesopotamian civilization.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"One of the great scientific advances of our time, sheep that look even more alike than before"
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Prof. Bix, Contemporary Moral Problems
University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, MN
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Comments? Add
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
Comment made during a discussion of the ethics of cloning
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| Rating: 10 |
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They don't let me fix things anymore. I don't fix things too well. . . .I break things real good, though. I'm a good breaker.
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Dr. Degenstein, Computer Tools for Engineering Physics
University of Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Of course, some of you did not so impressively. (pause) I would be looking at you for example.
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Dr. Szmigielski, Partial Differential Equations
University of Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
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Comments? Add
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
During the return of a midterm, whereupon he looked directly at a girl in the second row of a class of about 40.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"The country of Chad will be important to the rest of the world when the rest of the world runs out of sand"
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Dr. Pirtle, INAF-330 Geopolitics
Georgetown University, Washington, DC
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
Pirtle discussing the primacy of some states over others
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| Rating: unrated |
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"In my day, nuclear war was like the ultimate orgasm -- always coming but never arriving"
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Professor Karber, IPOL-365 Military Security in World Politics
Georgetown University, Washington, DC
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: April 8, 2003 |
| Rating: 10 |
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