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"What are the Ozone holes doing over Antarctica? Penguins don't use hairspray!"
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James Heath, ASTR 1304 - Solar System Astronomy
Austin Community College, Austin, Texas
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submitted: October 3, 2007 |
| Rating: 10 |
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"But before we finish the atmosphere, I am going to answer a question you may have asked when you were young... before the public school system squelched your natural sense of inquisitiveness... and that is, 'why is the sky blue?'"
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James Heath, ASTR 1304 - Solar System Astronomy
Austin Community College, Austin, Texas
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Comments? Add
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submitted: October 3, 2007 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Jim: "Why do they put chlorine in swimming pools?"
Students: "To kill germs?"
Jim: "Right, and if you stay in the water too long, your eyes start to hurt. Why? Because the chlorine is EATING YOUR EYEBALLS."
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James Heath, ASTR 1304 - Solar System Astronomy
Austin Community College, Austin, Texas
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submitted: October 3, 2007 |
Jim informs us of the evils of CFCs—and two of their components, Chlorine and Flourine.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"Flourine is so nasty that even the military won't mess with it."
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James Heath, ASTR 1304 - Solar System Astronomy
Austin Community College, Austin, Texas
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submitted: October 3, 2007 |
Jim informs again of the evils of Flourine.
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| Rating: 9 |
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"Electrons wanna follow the path of least resistance. They're very lazy."
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James Heath, ASTR 1304 - Solar System Astronomy
Austin Community College, Austin, Texas
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: October 3, 2007 |
On electrons and the Earth's magnetosphere.
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| Rating: 8 |
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"I looked up at the sky, and there was a red glow. I thought, 'what, is Dallas on fire?'"
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James Heath, ASTR 1304 - Solar System Astronomy
Austin Community College, Austin, Texas
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: October 3, 2007 |
Jim tells us an anecdote regarding the time he saw Aurora Borealis here in Austin.
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| Rating: 8 |
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"I know that, on the Rio Grande campus, air conditioning is kind of a joke. It's really controlled by gnomes in the basement."
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James Heath, ASTR 1304 - Solar System Astronomy
Austin Community College, Austin, Texas
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submitted: October 3, 2007 |
Jim comments on the ACC Air-Con system.
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| Rating: unrated |
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[Pretending they're in a math class, not a philosophy class]
Dave: "Kat, give me an answer."
Kat: "...Erm, E=MC^2?"
Dave: "...Kat, this is a math class, not a physics class!"
Kat: "^^;"
Student: "42!"
Dave: "42, what the Hell kind of math class is this?"
Kat: "One that exists in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, apparently."
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Dave Nakamaye, Introduction to Philosophy
Austin Community College, Austin, Texas
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submitted: October 3, 2007 |
Dave asks me for a random math answer, and I accidentally give him a physics equation. We then proceed to make Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy references/jokes.
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| Rating: 2.5 |
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What do you mean what is 'understanding'? It's understanding!
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Eli Hirsch, Wittgenstein's Philosophical Investigations
Brandeis University, Waltham, MA
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submitted: October 4, 2007 |
Said at least 5 times during the course.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Professor: "...and then you had the dinosaurs, with the largest carnivorous reptiles walking the earth, and some of them even flew, WAAARRRGGHH!!!"
*Students scream in terror*
Professor: "...and over here you have some of the largest creatures to ever walk the earth..."
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Dr. Hugh Robertson, Integrative Biology 150
University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana, IL
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submitted: October 9, 2007 |
The professor seamlessly waking up the snoozers during lecture.
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| Rating: 9 |
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I don't care what you say. Disgusting people have sex too.
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P. Beattie, American Literature
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submitted: October 10, 2007 |
Discussing George Orwell's "1984."
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| Rating: 9 |
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No, I don't keep Mercury in my freezer. If I did, though, I'd make you all Mercury-cicles.
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Saniga, Chemistry Lab
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submitted: October 10, 2007 |
...I don't know what moves the Sniggs to say the things that come out of his mouth.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Teacher: Time for a test.
Student A: What test?
Student B( to student A): Nah, its not. Its just a language problem. By test he really means he's going to take us all out for ice cream.
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, Introduction to OOP
Neumont, S. Jordan, Utah
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submitted: October 15, 2007 |
| Rating: 7 |
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As far as I know, there is no relation between Aardvarks and extroversion.
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A. J. Blum, Psy 101
Stetson University, DeLand, FL
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submitted: October 17, 2007 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"It's funny, really, because Boston back in the day was a quaint little Puritan village. Now all of a sudden there are brothels on every corner and there isn't one sober person in sight. Luckily, it's still the same today."
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Jim Embry, AP History
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submitted: October 19, 2007 |
The lovely things learned in AP History.
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| Rating: 10 |
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“If after reading over my commentary on your papers you think that I didn’t understand what you were trying to say…that’s your fault for not saying it clearly enough.”
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Dr. Deb Smith, British Empiricism
Kent State University, Kent, OH
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submitted: October 20, 2007 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Necessary conditions are not going to give you herpes on their own.
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Jerry Samet, Introduction to Symbolic Logic
Brandeis University, Waltham, MA
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submitted: October 21, 2007 |
| Rating: unrated |
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In this book, there's a climax -- in more than one sense of the word.
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Heidi Kunz, 207 - The Romantics
Randolph College (formerly R-MWC), Lynchburg, VA
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submitted: October 27, 2007 |
We were discussing The Scarlet Letter in class. She didn't mean that kind of climax, though.
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| Rating: unrated |
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If you find an attractive rate, you can lock it up for 5 years.
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Paul Irwin, 109 - Intro to Quantitative Reasoning
Randolph College (formerly R-MWC), Lynchburg, VA
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submitted: October 27, 2007 |
We were learning about loans, mortgages, and interest rates that day. I thought to myself, "Well, that wouldn't be very nice, now would it?"
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| Rating: 2 |
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