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In case you are anxious for your exam, I have a tip for you to help you stay awake. Go ride your bicycle instead of studying. Whatever vigorous activity you prefer. And if you are not the physical type, there is amonia you can buy. You soak a rag with the amonia and then cover your face with it in the morning, you will not fall asleep during my exam.
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Lebedev, Calculus 3
Georgia Tech, Atlanta, GA
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submitted: July 1, 2005 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Yeah so they are testing professional athletes for drugs now....just let me say I tested them all in the 60's and they are all great. With that said have a good Spring Break.
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Dave Pray, Engineering Statistics
Michigan Tech University, Houghton, MI
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submitted: July 4, 2005 |
This was an exam day, when he came into class he told us it was now going to be a take home due the following monday, because he didn't feel like grading them that weekend. He then said this quote and just walked out 3 minutes into class. Pray is awesome, and it sucks that he retired.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Yes, I'm American. And I will make fun of that fact however I choose to do so, you however, had better just try and ignore it if you can.
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I.M. Laversuch, How to write a paper
University of Zurich, ,
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submitted: July 9, 2005 |
We have predominantly British teachers and, as a german-speaking country that frowns upon show-offs and all things over the top, we tend to prefer them... ;-) Our American teachers are all too aware of this and won't miss a single joke at their own expense
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| Rating: unrated |
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McCuan: If anyone in class can show this by the next class we won't have a quiz.
Student: *raises hand* Zero works
McCuan: *looks at board* Yes, but it doesn't count.
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John McCuan, MATH2413
Georgia Tech, Atlanta, Georgia
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submitted: July 14, 2005 |
Regarding a corner case for a DE with infinte equilibriums in the neighborhood of zero. Not exact quotes, but close enough. From then on I was known as the student whose favorite answer was always Zero. We still had a quiz.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Prof: What is the meaning of "a little death"......Anyone?
Students: Dull, shuffling silence.
Prof: Why an ORGASM, of course!
Students: Embarrassed, dull, shuffling silence.
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Prof. John Smyth, Violence and Fiction
Portland State University, Portland, OR
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submitted: July 19, 2005 |
Referring to a (supposed) 19th C. metaphor
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| Rating: unrated |
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Prof: Please, go ahead and borrow it - but just don't get it messy - try to wipe it off and clean it up before you return it!
Students: Collective grossed-out groan
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Prof. Amato, Greek Mythology
Portland State University, Portland, OR
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submitted: July 19, 2005 |
Another sex-obsessed English prof who had just lent a book about erotica (what else?) to a student. My thanks to English profs everywhere for making an English degree sooooo respectable!
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| Rating: unrated |
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Hawkins: Ok guys, so we have the elements... earth, water...
Student A: WIND!
Student B: FIRE
Student C: HEART
Several students together: By our powers combined we are... Captian Planet, he's our hero...
Hawkins: Saw that coming
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Hawkins, Volcanoes
Denison University, Granville, Ohio
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submitted: July 21, 2005 |
| Rating: 9 |
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So, in the criminal world where not all ideals can be written as the product of prime ideals, this one is the Godfather.
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Dr. John Beachy, 620, Topics in Algebra: Commutative Rings
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, IL
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submitted: July 22, 2005 |
A strange metaphor about an ideal maximal wrt that property. Yeah.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"If you are married to someone, you cannot be convicted of raping them."
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Susan Kuo, Criminal Law
Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois
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submitted: July 24, 2005 |
This is a paraphrase, but the essence of the quote is unchanged. I also have less notably "None of you will become members of the Supreme Court," by David Taylor, Law Professor.
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| Rating: unrated |
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If you don't move, you can't sue me.
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Eric Murray, Physics 2212
Gerogia Institute Of Technology, ,
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submitted: July 27, 2005 |
Before demonstrating a fuse exploding
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| Rating: 9 |
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At NIU there are open houses and at one of these open houses a woman said to the department chair of electrical engineering (Dr. McGinn) "My son has a 14 on his ACT. Do you think hes gonna have trouble in engineering?" Dr. McGinn replies, "Do you mean on the tour?" The woman then went and complained.
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Prof McGinn, ELE 360 Communication Systems
Northern Illinios University, DeKalb, IL
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submitted: July 29, 2005 |
Who would even meantion that his or her kid got a 14 on the ACT, and then have the boldness to say it again to the Provost. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
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| Rating: 10 |
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