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It's less Mars the bringer of war, more Mars the bringer of chocolate
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Justin Hayward, S U Concert Band Rehersal
Southampton University, Southampton, Great Britain
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Comments? Add
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submitted: February 7, 2003 |
Second rehersal of Holst's Mars piece, not being played as strongly as poss
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| Rating: unrated |
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"The Yellow River is a very Naughty river. Naughty, naughty."
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T.K. Lin, Hist 22
Drake University, Des Moines, Iowa
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: February 7, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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F of five: 19.
F of ten: 34.
F of a monkey: three monkeys plus four.
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Abdou Youseff, CS 123 - Discrete Structures
George Washington University, Washington, DC
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Comments? Add
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submitted: February 7, 2003 |
Demonstrating compound functions. Imagine with Lebaneese accent. Great professor, doesn't let the class fall asleep.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Then the tenor does it with the sopra-well, does the singing with the soprano.
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Bill Cutter, 21M.401
MIT, Cambridge, MA
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submitted: February 7, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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A brewer will sooner replace his wife than the kind of yeast he uses.
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F. Delvaux, Malting and brewing technology
K.U.Leuven, Leuven,
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: February 6, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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We dont want VD.
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Carmen, EN PH 131 - Engineering Physics
University of Alberta, Edmonton, Alberta
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: February 6, 2003 |
V (subscript)d was a variable in a physics system of equations that we did not need to solve for. The prof turned bright red after she said that.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Le Chetalier's Principle:
Equilibria are like women. They always oppose what you're doing.
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Dave Disney, A-level chemistry, 1995-'96
Mackworth College, Derby, Reasonably good condition
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submitted: February 6, 2003 |
Once he asked a female class member if this was true. She denied it, thus adding weight to the hypothesis.
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| Rating: unrated |
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News:
I hope everyone's been enjoying the site.
I've been posting almost every quote that's been submitted so far, and some people have been writing in to complain that certain quotes aren't funny. I'd like to cater to what the readers want so I'll ask here: Should I continue to post almost everything, even things I don't think are that funny, or should I act as an editor and just post what I think are the funniest quotes? In other words, do you want quantity or quality?
Leave your comments here.
Jason
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Comments? Add
or View (24)
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submitted: February 6, 2003 |
The problem adding comments seems to be fixed. That's what I get for writing code at 2am.
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"Well General, God indeed does exist according to Descartes because he is perfect. Now are you
going to go protest hard enough so that we don't get bombed?"
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O'Connell, Philosophy 102
GMCC, ,
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Comments? Add
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submitted: February 6, 2003 |
Comment made to a typical 80's political punker whilst wearing a military hat for his "Don't Bomb Iraq discussion"
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| Rating: unrated |
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I hate technology!
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Dr. Ede, HIST391: The History of Technology
University of Alberta, Edmonton, Alberta
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: February 6, 2003 |
This said by my prof for History of Technology after failing to get the multi-media overhead projector to show the video he had.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Remember class,snowballs can hurt, and snowballs can kill. It all depends on what you put in them, like a rock or something"
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Ms. J. Walsh, Sociology
Naugatuck High School, Naugatuck, CT
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: February 6, 2003 |
Needless to say I had to drop the class
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| Rating: unrated |
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Go to "L." I've been wanting to tell you that all night
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Milt Olsson, Symphony Orchestra
Michigan Technological University, Houghton, Michigan
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: February 6, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Empty and full are the same. Half empty is like half full, multiple both sides of the equation by 2...
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Mr. Shmuel Berger, Math for Biology
Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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What are the odds that this highly unlikely event would happen to me of all people?!
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Prof. Ram Frost, Statistics for Psychology
Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel
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Comments? Add
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
A very important motive in Ram`s lectures, trying to explain about hypothesis testing. Haven`t he heard about Murphy laws?
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| Rating: unrated |
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"Ok class, let me try to put this in a simple way: when the electrons are closer to the nucleus, they really like being there, it makes them very HAPPY!"
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Chem Lab Prof., CHEM 221
PCC, Rock Creek, OR
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
Trying to explain light emission and absorbtion to a lab that had a group from 2 different lectures, one covered this already, the other hadn't.
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| Rating: unrated |
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The less, the merrier... Can you please leave the classroom?
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T. Hoop, Chemistry
Blaise Pascal College, Zaandam, The Netherlands
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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So the lesson here is, if you are going to the South Pole, bring man's best friend. They haul your stuff there and they are running Vitamin C machines, so you can eat them on the way back.
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Dr. Keating, BiSci 004
Penn State University, University Park, PA
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Prof: Did you guys know that marijuana used to be called mary jane?
Class: Yeah
Prof: Wow, you guys are a bunch of pot heads... my other section didn't know that
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Dr. Linda Perry, Soc 001
Penn State University, University Park, PA
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
During a lecture on deviance
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| Rating: unrated |
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"I don't shoot guns, just bombs."
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Michael Edmiston, Physics and Engineering 2
Bluffton College, Bluffton, Ohio
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Comments? Add
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
He used to work at Los Alamos Nuclear Laboratory...
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| Rating: unrated |
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It's a great trick to try at parties, row-reducing a matrix. I've never tried it though - I've never been to a party.
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Ian VanderBurgh, Math 235
University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, Canada
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Comments? Add
or View (7)
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"what do the voices in your head say to you?"
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tom kealy, judgement and belief
colby-sawyer college, new london, new hampshire
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Comments? Add
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
this was when we were discussing morals and conscience.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"morals teach you that you cant go around beating up your grandmother and stealing her purse"
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tom kealy, judgement and belief
colby-sawyer college, new london, new hampshire
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"This is Lessing," pointing to the slide projected on the wall,"the first significant German dramatist, also known as Mr. Pointy Head"
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Dr. John Poole, Theatre History II
Illinois State University, Normal, IL
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
Addressing an 8am Monday Theatre History class, he then compared Lessings hair with Don King.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"There should be only two subjects in your degree: static and, for the case if it fails, criminal law"
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Mr. Cojonciano., Arquitectura Técnica.
Universidad de La Almunia de D° Godina., Zaragoza, Spain
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Comments? Add
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submitted: February 5, 2003 |
It should be that way. No Maths, No tech drawing...
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| Rating: unrated |
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I used to teach with another book; it wasn't any good. Then, I saw John Nash teaching with this book in "A Beautiful Mind." It's not any good either, but I figured if I use it, either you or I will go crazy by the end of the semester.
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Dr. Clay Radke, Mathematical Methods for Chemical Engineers
UC Berkeley, Berkeley, CA
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: February 4, 2003 |
First day of of grad school for some poor little first years.
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| Rating: unrated |
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