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Jump to page:
Computer Science
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Aloysus. It's a name. No one really uses it anymore. Kind of like Adolf, but for different reasons I suppose.
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Mike Van Wie, AI
Rochester Institute of Technology, ,
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Comments? Add
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submitted: October 12, 2004 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Everyone says proofs are hard. Proofs are not hard. You say "I dont want to go to Tech anymore" your parents say "Thats too bad, we already paid for it youre going" you say "I dont want to go back, its damn cold there".... thats a proof.
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Prof. Zhenlin Wang, CS2311 Discrete Structures
Michigan Technological University, Houghton, MI
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: October 10, 2004 |
I love foreign professors, as long as they have a good sense of humor... it was totally worth taking this class 3 times just to hear this.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"After six pages of advance mathematics, your brain will explode, and you'll say, "A-ha! It's of course the square root of n."
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Troy Vasiga, CS 240
University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: September 12, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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"I don't know the difference between backslash and frontslash. I grew up in DOS and moved to Unix, then I was traumatized."
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Troy Vasiga, CS 240
Univeristy of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: September 12, 2004 |
| Rating: 7.75 |
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"You will get bonus marks if your compressed file is smaller than the original file."
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, CS 240
University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario
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Comments? Add
or View (5)
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submitted: September 10, 2004 |
CS 240 Assignment ...
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| Rating: 10 |
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What's a few points among friends?
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Prof. Howard Whitston,
Lawrence Tech University, Southfield, MI
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Comments? Add
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submitted: August 17, 2004 |
He loved to nickel and dime you on test and homework points.
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| Rating: unrated |
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This one time I had an idea to send everyone to the book store because you know...it's the bookstore. *Laughter* I mean it's funny that it's a bookstore, you know?
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Prof. Gustavson, IS 223/IS 241
Pace University, Pleasantville, NY
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submitted: August 3, 2004 |
Out of the blue. There is no context to this quote.
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| Rating: unrated |
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...And that's what happens when you drink Vodka instead of water, cheers!
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Patrick O'Brian, COMP 125
UCFV, Abbotsford, BC
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: July 31, 2004 |
Right after getting all messed up writing a complex algorithm, he walked away from the board and start drinking from a bottle.
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| Rating: 10 |
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Student: Nelson, you smile a lot more now-a-days.
Nelson: Well, I take a lot more drugs now.
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Nelson Padua-Perez, CMSC 131
University of Maryland, College Park, MD
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or View (0)
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submitted: July 7, 2004 |
| Rating: 10 |
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Prof. Vazirani: Everyone knows about the P and NP complexity classes?
Class: No response
Prof. Vazirani: Anyone in here who doesn't know about P and NP complexity classes?
*A few students tentatively raise their hands*
Prof. Vazirani: Then what are you doing in here? It's a fine sunny day outside. Why don't you go and play in the park?
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Vijay Vazirani, Design and Analysis of Algorithms
Georgia Tech, Atlanta, GA
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Comments? Add
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submitted: May 13, 2004 |
This is an course for Theory PhD students that requires a sound theory background.
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| Rating: 9.33333 |
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If you want to go right, a little magic elf will come by and give you more tape.
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Edith Hemaspaandra, Foundations of Computer Theory
Rochester Institute of Technology, Rochester, NY
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Comments? Add
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submitted: May 5, 2004 |
When talking about how Turing machines are only one-way infinite
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| Rating: unrated |
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When I see code with 4 or 5 special cases collapse into one sequence with no special cases ... ahhh (*shivers*) ... I'd say it's better than sex, but it isn't.
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Ken Reek, C for C++ Programmers
Rochester Institute of Technology, Rochester, New York
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Comments? Add
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submitted: April 15, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Sometimes Justice must be tempered with Mercy.
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Dr. Califf, Artifical Intelligence
Illinois State University, Normal, Illinois
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submitted: April 5, 2004 |
This was in refrence to a group of us asking for help on a program, she muttered this to herself while walking away.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"A computer eats ones and zeros for breakfast! Don't feed it Wheaties or it will burp!"
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David Syler, CS132 Visual Basic Programming
Tri-State University, Angola, IN
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submitted: March 30, 2004 |
One of Syler's first day of every class quotes.
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| Rating: 10 |
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"...Go mushroom hunting! I like to eat mushrooms; I don't know some of you might like to smoke them."
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Dan Matthews, CS263 Database Management
Tri-State University, Angola, IN
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: March 30, 2004 |
Somehow he got off on this weird tangent about the outdoors and this was one of the things he said...
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| Rating: unrated |
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“God has blessed you with these operators and thou shalt not use any others.”
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Geoff Kuenning, CS 70
Harvey Mudd, Claremont, CA
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Comments? Add
or View (1)
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submitted: March 25, 2004 |
Geoff on inability to create new operators in C++ when overloading (he frequently refers to Stroustrup, the creator of C++, as God)
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| Rating: unrated |
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“More pithily, a friend is someone you allow to play with your private parts.”
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Geoff Kuenning, CS 70
Harvey Mudd, Claremont, CA
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Comments? Add
or View (3)
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submitted: March 25, 2004 |
Explanation of the friend keyword in C++ (lets one class muck about with the innards of another class)
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| Rating: 10 |
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"If your data members are public, then anyone, inside the class and out, can modify them, and I will come chasing after you with a chainsaw."
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Geoff Kuenning, CS 70
Harvey Mudd, Claremont, CA
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submitted: March 25, 2004 |
Geoff explaining things not to do in C++.
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| Rating: unrated |
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“Proof by lack of a counterexample has worked very well in Iraq, and the best one, very useful in politics this week: It stands to reason.”
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Geoff Kuenning, CS 70
Harvey Mudd, Claremont, CA
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: March 25, 2004 |
| Rating: 10 |
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I take zeros out anywhere I want to! I've got the right.
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Larry Saxton, CS310
University of Regina, Regina, Sk
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 25, 2004 |
Response to a question from a student while trying to prove a theorem. Said in a very matter of fact way...with a little side to side head movement.
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| Rating: unrated |
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"I'd like to welcom you to this course on Computer Science. Actually, that's a terrible way to start. Computer Science is a terrible name for this business. First of all, it's not a science. It might be engineering, or it might be art - but we'll see that actually computer so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic. So it's not a science. It's also not really very much about computers - and it's not about computers in the same way that physics isn't about particle accelerators."
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, The Structure And Interpretation of Computer Programs
MIT, ,
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 21, 2004 |
Its so true. Its almost too true to be funny.
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| Rating: 9.33333 |
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Phil: I knew people who had memorized the boot sequence for the PDP-11, including the device drivers.
Student: I guess they could impress people at parties.
Other Student: ...but computer scientists don't go to parties.
Phil: erm, ... impress the neighbor's kids.
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Phil White, Computer Organization
Rochester Institute of Technology, Rochester, New York
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Comments? Add
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submitted: March 15, 2004 |
He made the joke everybody saw but didn't want to touch.
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| Rating: unrated |
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Just because you put a bunch of neurons in a pile doesn't make it a brain.
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David Gerhard, CS 400
University of Regina, Regina, Saskatchewan
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Comments? Add
or View (2)
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submitted: March 11, 2004 |
| Rating: 10 |
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The zamboni comes along and goes rrrrggrrgrgrr!! Isn't Java cool?
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Paul Tymann, ACS1
Rochester Institute of Technology, Rochester, New York
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Comments? Add
or View (4)
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submitted: March 9, 2004 |
| Rating: unrated |
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Wow. I guess even a dummy can run these things now.
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Dave Syler, Intro to Microcomputers
Tri-State University, Angola, Indiana
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Comments? Add
or View (0)
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submitted: February 25, 2004 |
Upon plugging in a usb card reader and having it "ready to use" according to Windows XP.
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| Rating: unrated |
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