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The difference between a priest and a professor is, a priest is called a reverend, and a professor is called a never-end.
Dr Souryal, Professionalism and Ethics in Criminal Justice
SHSU, Huntsville, Tx

Comments? Add or View (1) submitted: July 10, 2009
Rating: unrated

...And this was back in the 70s, when everybody wanted to shoot the President A LOT.
Robert Saxe, Liberalism
Rhodes College, Memphis, TN

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 9, 2009

Talking about Nixon.
Rating: 10

Student: "But you always write 'B.C.E' or 'C.E'. Why not 'AD' or 'BC'?" Prof: "Just suck it up and write 'B.C.E'!!!"
Michelle Wolfe, Ancient Civilizations
Ohio State University, Mansfield, Ohio

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 8, 2009

This kid is always complaining or commenting on something this prof was doing. She always tolerated him, but she finally yelled at him and it was HILARIOUS.
Rating: unrated

Student: Mr. Chris, is the final going to be hard? Mr. Christopherson: Viagra blue baby!
Mr. Christopherson, Honors Chemistry
Normal Community High School, Normal, Il

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 8, 2009
Rating: unrated

"In all honesty, if you think about it, there can be a reasonable comparison between the Resurrection and an orgasm. All the happiness in the world compressed into one mind-blowing moment."
Thomas Emmert, Historical Perspectives II
Gustavus Adolphus College, St. Peter, MN

Comments? Add or View (1) submitted: July 8, 2009

It was a 9:00am Historical Perspectives class and I don't know if he was trying to keep us awake or what, but he was serious.
Rating: unrated

"The older the violin, the sweeter the music."
, English
, McAllen, Texas

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 6, 2009

Ms. G was telling our senior English class about one time a student had a crush on her and was trying to hit on her.
Rating: unrated

Mr K: Stop looking at porn. Student: (surprised) I-- I was reading the short story. Mr K: Oh I assumed it was porn because that's what I'm looking at on the computer.
Mr. Kennedy, English 10
Redlands, Redlands, CA

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 5, 2009

Every student was silently reading the assignment. Mr. Kennedy was on his computer; only God knows what he was looking at.
Rating: unrated

"And what does Kino say?" Everyone pauses searching for the answer. "He says, 'Yes we have no bananas!"
Mr. Kennedy, English 10
Redlands, Redlands, CA

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 5, 2009

Mr. Kennedy's unique paraphrasing of John Steinback's The Pearl
Rating: unrated

Racism is a very touchy topic these days. Especially in rap songs, like the ones Kanye West sings...hahahahahahaha! It's tough out there!
Dr. Richard Watson, Ethical Controversies in Communication
Chapman University, Orange, CA

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 4, 2009

First day of class...
Rating: unrated

Student before final exam: "Dr. Hodges, what would you recommend I study for the final?" Doc Hodges: "I'd recommend you go out and get drunk instead."
Dr. Lou Hodges,
Texas A&M University, College Station, Texas

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 3, 2009
Rating: unrated

Student: The sluts always die first in horror movies. Teacher: And let that be a lesson to you all!
Dr. Funk, IB Biology
Douglas County High School, ,

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 3, 2009
Rating: 10

"I'm giving you the chance to have sex with a beautiful woman, and you're choosing masturbation."
Seymour Leichman, Illustration II
Pratt Institute, Brooklyn, New York

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 2, 2009

My 85 year old Illustration professor three semesters ago on a drawing of mine.
Rating: unrated

...at least I don't have to stand over a mirror to see my BALLS
Capuzzo,
NVOT, Old Tappan, NJ

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 2, 2009

Track coach/math teacher making fun of an overweight athlete at practice
Rating: 10

Inna recession, ev'rybody drink. I hear story on da 60 minutes. Family drop kid off at friend's house. Later, da mom go pick up da kid. Mom drunk! Friend's parents no let mom take kid home. Call dad. Dad comes pick up kid--but dad drunk too! Who next? Grandparents? Call up grandparents, dey come. Dey drunk too! Ev'rybody drunk! Who dey call next, cops? Maybe dey drunk too!
Wei Ge, International Economics
Bucknell University, Lewisburg, Pennsylvania

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: July 2, 2009

Economics is amazing.
Rating: 10

"No, stop stop! That whole line sounds terrible! It's as if your FORCEFULLY introducing a cat to the inside of a microwave and turning it on! Once more now, just no animal abuse this time!"
Mr. Foster, Symphonic Band
Copley High School, Copley, Ohio

Comments? Add or View (2) submitted: July 1, 2009

Comment from our director on the sound of our band after we played a line rather poorly in a new song. Needless to say, we all paused and then burst out laughing including him.
Rating: unrated

"Sometimes when I look at people's faces, and they're frowning at me, I can hear a voice pop up in my head that says 'Mark, you're a stupid idiot.'"
Mark Hopper, Intro to Psychology
Loras College, Dubuque, IA

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: June 27, 2009
Rating: 8

I don't want to compete with celery.
Dr. Roberta Staples, British Traditions I
Sacred Heart University, Fairfield, CT

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: June 27, 2009

Basically why we're not allowed to eat anything during class.
Rating: unrated

I think the point of newspapers are that they're similar but are really different.
Prof. Joanne Kabak, Intro to Media Studies
Sacred Heart University, Fairfield, CT

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: June 27, 2009

She tends to mix up her words.
Rating: unrated

I don't need stats to tell me a Duncan Hines cake is delicious.
Mr. Petraglia, Intro to Communications
Sacred Heart University, Fairfield, C

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: June 27, 2009

He was making a point how not everything in our speeches requires statistics.
Rating: unrated

Mr. Petraglia (serious tone): I don't care what you do your report on; if you just give me cake I'll be happy and you'll get an A.
Mr. Petraglia, Intro to Communications
Sacred Heart University, Fairfield, CT

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: June 27, 2009

No, he was serious.
Rating: unrated

Women in bikinis do not brew beer; they don't make it taste better.
Mr. Petraglia, Intro to Communications
Sacred Heart University, Fairfield, CT

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: June 27, 2009

He was stating how in beer ads that skimpy clothed women were everywhere.
Rating: 7

You guys are the audience...uh...er...I don't know who the hell you are.
Mr. Petraglia, Intro to Communications
Sacred Heart University, Fairfield, CT

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: June 27, 2009

We were both the audience and the presenters, he got confused.
Rating: unrated

"I can't vote, so it's more like a voyeurism when it comes to Politics."
Jason Blake, Practical English
Faculty of Arts, Ljubljana, Slovenia

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: June 25, 2009

He is from Canada, but lives in our country, making him ineligible to vote.
Rating: unrated

"I have two words for you: one means fornication, the other means going away."
Jason Blake, Practical English
Faculty of Arts, Ljubljana, Slovenia

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: June 25, 2009

I have no idea what made our teacher say that, but it had to be pretty harsh.
Rating: unrated

If you're ever get stuck while writing a paper here's my advice ... ... WRITE THE FUCKER!!!
P. Chills, Advanced Creative Writing Workshop
, ,

Comments? Add or View (0) submitted: June 25, 2009
Rating: unrated

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